i had a friend ask me recently: "why can't you just talk about your adoption without talking about money?" as i've thought about that question, i've realized something my pastor said about americans and money is quite true: americans are much more open about their sex lives than about their checkbooks. this, of course, is played out all the time on television, but i'm pretty sure it's playing out in almost all of my relationships. my friends and i can talk about all the intimates of life...just not money. it's not wired in our brains that we should be open about money. it's rude to ask somebody how much they paid for their house or their car or their new dress. and i guess some people think it's rude when i'm honest about how much it actually costs to adopt. why is that? why are we so secretive about money?
my intent here is not to answer that question, because i've got a lot of theories, many of which most people probably wouldn't want to hear. but i do want to make something clear: you can't really talk about adoption without talking about money. now, obviously, money is not at all the most important part of the adoption process. it is a means to an end, the end being our children. we cannot get to our children without money. that is the reality. it is one of the greatest struggles every adoptive family faces. right now, my friend leigh and her husband gray are in the midst of this battle. they have $8000 to raise in the next couple of months for their adoption (if you want to help them financially, go enter their amazing giveaway). they have to talk about the money because it is the one thing, barring the paperwork, that is separating them from their daughter. so when an adoptive family talks about money, it has nothing to do with making others feel guilted into giving to them; rather, it has all to do with them communicating to the world what it's going to take for them to get to their child.
so where does fundraising fit in? well, unless they just happen to have $20,000 lying around, fundraising is about the only choice an adoptive family has for getting the funds they need. i wish more people could understand that fundraising is not about us asking people to give us money. even though the money goes to us, it's really going to our children. it's not about lauren and jamie, or leigh and gray, or any adoptive parents. it's about the children and getting them home. it's about MG, liam and elijah, and every other orphan who needs a family. that is where the money goes. do i think fundraising is fun? of course not, because people ask me questions like "why can't you talk about adoption without talking about money?" but i think it's our only hope.
i do wish we could all talk more about money, though i think there's certainly something to be said about jesus telling us not to let our right hand know what our left hand is doing. adoption is shaking up our world, especially in regards to money. we are learning not to be dependent on it for our happiness or security. we are learning that the terrified feeling we feel when looking at our budget is exactly where God wants us. and we are learning that there is always room for repentance every time we think we've got it all figured out.
Wednesday, September 30, 2009
Sunday, September 27, 2009
hesed
well, i must admit that these days, blogging is more a tool of procrastination than anything else. like right now, i should be researching for my master's thesis that's due at the end of the semester. but instead, here i am. i'm pretty excited about our new blog header -- much thanks to jessi, who is friends with my blog friend leigh and also my friend staci bacon:) my favorite part of the design is the 4 africas going across and how they represent our journey. and if you can't read the verse around the border, it comes from one of my favorite passages in the bible: "we know that the whole creation has been groaning in labor pains until now; and not only the creation, but we ourselves, who have the first fruits of the spirit, groan inwardly while we wait for adoption, the redemption of our bodies." (romans 8:22-23)
OK, and onto the real reason i wanted to write...hesed. hesed is the hebrew word for lovingkindness. our pastor has been talking about it the last few weeks at church as he's been preaching through ruth. he made an incredibly powerful analogy to demonstrate the meaning of hesed. when it's winter time and his children get out of the bathtub shivering, he always puts a warm towel on top of them. the towel provides warmth and comfort to the children, but the towel itself gets nothing in return; instead, the towel actually becomes wet and cold even as it helps the children become warm. this is hesed. it is what ruth showed naomi when she went into the fields to glean, compromising her own dignity and security. and it is what jesus did for the world -- first, when he left the glories of heaven to dwell among humans on earth and second, when he went to the cross. like a towel for a shivering child in winter, jesus laid himself over us, taking all of our despair, sin, and brokenness in exchange for hope and redemption. so this week, i'm wondering how i'm going to show hesed. whose towel am i going to be?
OK, and onto the real reason i wanted to write...hesed. hesed is the hebrew word for lovingkindness. our pastor has been talking about it the last few weeks at church as he's been preaching through ruth. he made an incredibly powerful analogy to demonstrate the meaning of hesed. when it's winter time and his children get out of the bathtub shivering, he always puts a warm towel on top of them. the towel provides warmth and comfort to the children, but the towel itself gets nothing in return; instead, the towel actually becomes wet and cold even as it helps the children become warm. this is hesed. it is what ruth showed naomi when she went into the fields to glean, compromising her own dignity and security. and it is what jesus did for the world -- first, when he left the glories of heaven to dwell among humans on earth and second, when he went to the cross. like a towel for a shivering child in winter, jesus laid himself over us, taking all of our despair, sin, and brokenness in exchange for hope and redemption. so this week, i'm wondering how i'm going to show hesed. whose towel am i going to be?
Wednesday, September 23, 2009
change is coming!
last week, i blogged about my friend leigh's giveaway to benefit her adoption. this is the second week of the giveaway, and she's got some more great prizes. right now, she's got a giveaway that she's calling "fall accessories" that consists of 4 different clutches, 3 pairs of earrings, 2 necklaces, and a cocktail ring. if you enter and win that giveway, you win ALL those accessories. i would definitely be entering that one if i wasn't trying to win the baby-related stuff :) if you want a chance to win, visit http://bringingourbabyhome-onedayatatime.blogspot.com/ and donate through the paypal account. entries are $5 each, and you get a free entry if you purchase 5 entries. she's got directions on the blog...all you have to do is be willing to spare a few bucks to help bring a baby girl home to her parents.
on that note, i'm excited to say that our blog is going to get a bit of a makeover, hence the change. leigh told me before the giveaway started that she has a friend who enjoys designing blog headers donate her services to the giveaway. i knew then that i had to win that prize. if you've ever seen a blog that is well-designed and aesthetically appealing, you might not be surprised that i'm willing to bet those blogs have higher readership. now, i'm not trying to increase our readership because i think i have great things to say. however, i do want more people to hear our story and thus hear about the wonderful journey of adoption. and something tells me people might stick around our blog a little more if it wasn't...well, ugly. and with this new blog header comes, for me, a bit of a renewal in my blogging. i'm really trying to be better about not making my blog my pulpit (even though i think a good rant is healthy sometimes). but seriously, this blog is about our story and about how God is using adoption to shake up our lives, and i want people to hear about that.
OK, and a few updates:
jamie goes back to work in t-minus 8 days.
we finally got our medical exams for our homestudy. we are still waiting to send our documents because our social worker hasn't answered 2 important questions that i need before i send everything (i'm a little annoyed about this...)
we attended a weekend discovery class about our church and absolutely LOVED it. it was heavy on theology, which jamie and i enjoyed. this is the first time in a very, very long time that i have been excited about being apart of a church. i might blog about that soon, about our awesome church that is and how we're being challenged.
i am swimming in a sea of schoolwork. that speaks for itself.
we are enjoying our fall TV lineup: football (for jamie), the biggest loser, glee, and the office.
on that note, i'm excited to say that our blog is going to get a bit of a makeover, hence the change. leigh told me before the giveaway started that she has a friend who enjoys designing blog headers donate her services to the giveaway. i knew then that i had to win that prize. if you've ever seen a blog that is well-designed and aesthetically appealing, you might not be surprised that i'm willing to bet those blogs have higher readership. now, i'm not trying to increase our readership because i think i have great things to say. however, i do want more people to hear our story and thus hear about the wonderful journey of adoption. and something tells me people might stick around our blog a little more if it wasn't...well, ugly. and with this new blog header comes, for me, a bit of a renewal in my blogging. i'm really trying to be better about not making my blog my pulpit (even though i think a good rant is healthy sometimes). but seriously, this blog is about our story and about how God is using adoption to shake up our lives, and i want people to hear about that.
OK, and a few updates:
jamie goes back to work in t-minus 8 days.
we finally got our medical exams for our homestudy. we are still waiting to send our documents because our social worker hasn't answered 2 important questions that i need before i send everything (i'm a little annoyed about this...)
we attended a weekend discovery class about our church and absolutely LOVED it. it was heavy on theology, which jamie and i enjoyed. this is the first time in a very, very long time that i have been excited about being apart of a church. i might blog about that soon, about our awesome church that is and how we're being challenged.
i am swimming in a sea of schoolwork. that speaks for itself.
we are enjoying our fall TV lineup: football (for jamie), the biggest loser, glee, and the office.
Wednesday, September 16, 2009
another adoption update
i have a hard time going too many days without blogging. clearly that's the case since it's just been 3 days since my last post. but we've had a couple of minor things happen on the adoption front that i wanted to share because every mundane detail is important to us and one step closer to our babies. first, we did get our USCIS fee and I-600A form sent off last week. we are now waiting for a fingerprinting appointment at the CIS office in charlotte. second, we are finally getting our medical exams done for our homestudy! our friend cecilie, who is finishing up her med school residency at a clinic here in WS, has been trying to get us into her clinic free of charge. it looks like we're still going to have to pay the co-pay for our visit, but at least we won't owe a huge bill just for having someone listen to our heart beats and sign a sheet of paper saying we're healthy enough to raise children. the medical exams are the very last thing we need for our homestudy. we'll send all of our papers off to our social worker (hopefully by the beginning of next week), and she'll write our homestudy. third, and this is a huge finally, we are going to pay our first fee to CWA. we have been waiting forever to pay this fee. thanks to some generous friends, $700 was knocked off our first fee. we are so grateful to those who are helping us pay this fee, as those dollars are dollars we don't have to find elsewhere.
speaking of dollars, we found out yesterday that we might have overlooked an additional fee for adopting a second child. this doesn't at all affect our decision to request 2 children, but it does knock us back on our behinds again as far as money goes. everytime we think we've found a solution for funding most of our adoption, we find out about another fee. just recently, we decided we'd live without furniture indefinitely so we could use our new homebuyer's tax credit to pay all the fees associated with sending our dossier off to ethiopia. but now that we're looking at an additional fee that must be submitted with all the other dossier fees, we're going to have to get creative with finding the money. there are actually many wonderful non-profits that provide grants and interest-free loans to adoptive families. the only drawback to those is that your homestudy must be complete before you can apply, and then it can take a couple of months for the money to actually become available to you once you've been approved. so for the sake of getting our dossier sent ASAP, it looks like we'll be trying to have a yard sale (if we can find enough stuff to sale) and maybe even calling local businesses (chick-fil-a has been suggested to me) to see if they'd be willing to donate a percentage of profits to our cause.
one last thing -- awhile back, we did a little Q&A on here about our decision to adopt. one of the questions i wish we'd answered is "but don't you want to have your own kids?" i promise that all adoptive parents, especially those of us who have chosen to adopt before having (or for some, instead of having) biological children, have heard this question at least once since telling people they decided to adopt. of course, what the questioner usually means is "but don't you want to have biological children?" for most people, this is just a matter of semantics, but i bring it up to say that this is one of those times where language is really important. the question is totally OK since most adoptive families would readily agree with me that natural birth and adoption are 2 equally beautiful and wonderful ways of building a family. it's the language of "your own kids" that adoptive families find hurtful, especially since adoption has become (in some circles) a controversial issue. i read recently on a blog a comment from a reader who said she believed adoption should only be "in addition to" biological children rather than as a "replacement" for biological children. this girl was quite adament that adoption is an inferior way of building a family. i've even heard people say they didn't believe someone could love "someone else's" child as much as "their own" children. but something tells me these people have never seen the fierce love an adoptive family has for their children, even if their children aren't even home yet. i love my sons as if they were in my womb. from the day we decided to adopt, i loved my children as my own. so when somebody asks me "but don't you want to have your own kids?" i can only respond "yes, and i already do."
speaking of dollars, we found out yesterday that we might have overlooked an additional fee for adopting a second child. this doesn't at all affect our decision to request 2 children, but it does knock us back on our behinds again as far as money goes. everytime we think we've found a solution for funding most of our adoption, we find out about another fee. just recently, we decided we'd live without furniture indefinitely so we could use our new homebuyer's tax credit to pay all the fees associated with sending our dossier off to ethiopia. but now that we're looking at an additional fee that must be submitted with all the other dossier fees, we're going to have to get creative with finding the money. there are actually many wonderful non-profits that provide grants and interest-free loans to adoptive families. the only drawback to those is that your homestudy must be complete before you can apply, and then it can take a couple of months for the money to actually become available to you once you've been approved. so for the sake of getting our dossier sent ASAP, it looks like we'll be trying to have a yard sale (if we can find enough stuff to sale) and maybe even calling local businesses (chick-fil-a has been suggested to me) to see if they'd be willing to donate a percentage of profits to our cause.
one last thing -- awhile back, we did a little Q&A on here about our decision to adopt. one of the questions i wish we'd answered is "but don't you want to have your own kids?" i promise that all adoptive parents, especially those of us who have chosen to adopt before having (or for some, instead of having) biological children, have heard this question at least once since telling people they decided to adopt. of course, what the questioner usually means is "but don't you want to have biological children?" for most people, this is just a matter of semantics, but i bring it up to say that this is one of those times where language is really important. the question is totally OK since most adoptive families would readily agree with me that natural birth and adoption are 2 equally beautiful and wonderful ways of building a family. it's the language of "your own kids" that adoptive families find hurtful, especially since adoption has become (in some circles) a controversial issue. i read recently on a blog a comment from a reader who said she believed adoption should only be "in addition to" biological children rather than as a "replacement" for biological children. this girl was quite adament that adoption is an inferior way of building a family. i've even heard people say they didn't believe someone could love "someone else's" child as much as "their own" children. but something tells me these people have never seen the fierce love an adoptive family has for their children, even if their children aren't even home yet. i love my sons as if they were in my womb. from the day we decided to adopt, i loved my children as my own. so when somebody asks me "but don't you want to have your own kids?" i can only respond "yes, and i already do."
Sunday, September 13, 2009
help this family!
this is not another long post about healthcare, though i would like to thank my brother-in-law, steve, for providing an alternative opinion to my little vent. i probably should have been more clear in yesterday's post that i don't support rushing into a plan just for the sake of having reform, so i think caution is key. basically, my post came from an annoyance with the number of people i've heard (or seen on facebook) who just seem so callous to any reform at all. for me, health care is a right to life issue, and we have to figure out a way to make sure all people have access to it.
the REAL reason i'm writing today, however, is to give a great, big plug to my blog friend (soon-to-be-in-real-life friend) leigh's giveaway! i found leigh's blog on the blog of a friend of a friend (the blog world is so convoluted and crazy like that) after noticing the title "one day at a time." i had this little inkling that she might be taking "one day at a time" because she was adopting...and i was right! leigh and her husband are adopting a little girl from...ETHIOPIA! this is providence at its best, let me tell you. anyway, leigh is my fundraising inspiration, and this giveaway she's doing is worth checking out. she's had a bunch of cute stuff donated to her that she's giving away through something like a raffle. she'll post a few things every monday for the next few weeks, and you buy entries for $5 that you can put towards whatever item you want. she'll then draw winners towards the end of the week. and hey, even if you don't win, you'll be helping bring her sweet daughter, MG, home. so check it out at http://bringingourbabyhome-onedayatatime.blogspot.com/
the REAL reason i'm writing today, however, is to give a great, big plug to my blog friend (soon-to-be-in-real-life friend) leigh's giveaway! i found leigh's blog on the blog of a friend of a friend (the blog world is so convoluted and crazy like that) after noticing the title "one day at a time." i had this little inkling that she might be taking "one day at a time" because she was adopting...and i was right! leigh and her husband are adopting a little girl from...ETHIOPIA! this is providence at its best, let me tell you. anyway, leigh is my fundraising inspiration, and this giveaway she's doing is worth checking out. she's had a bunch of cute stuff donated to her that she's giving away through something like a raffle. she'll post a few things every monday for the next few weeks, and you buy entries for $5 that you can put towards whatever item you want. she'll then draw winners towards the end of the week. and hey, even if you don't win, you'll be helping bring her sweet daughter, MG, home. so check it out at http://bringingourbabyhome-onedayatatime.blogspot.com/
Saturday, September 12, 2009
AIDS, swine flu & healthcare reform
last night, jamie and i were doing a run down of today's football games. i told him i'd read on the news that 2 unc players had tested positive for swine flu to which he responded, "isn't it amazing how our world has mobilized against swine flu but not nearly as much against AIDS?" i said i thought the large-scale response to swine flu must be because it's so easily passed from one person to another, thus making infection a large-scale problem. jamie wasn't too satisfied with that explanation, and the more i think about it, the more i disagree with myself.
right now, AIDS deaths and infections are expected to total 100 million by 2012. the majority of those deaths will be in developing nations, many of them on the continent of africa. though people in the US and other developed nations still are being infected, most of the infected citizens of these countries can afford access to drugs and treatment. let me be ballsy for a moment and say that the reason we haven't seen the same large-scale response to AIDS that we've seen to swine flu is that the powers that be -- aka, people in the western hemisphere, in developed nations -- haven't felt threatened by AIDS and thus haven't seen a real need to do anything about it. swine flu, however, has been a different story because i think people have realized we're all vulnerable to infection. the reports on the news that people in the US have actually died of swine flu freak us all out a bit. all of a sudden, it's necessary to report every single swine flu infection on the news and create lists of who should receive swine flu shots first. and i have to ask: when have we ever heard AIDS deaths and infections tallied daily on the news? and when have we ever really seen people prioritize who should get access to AIDS treatment and medicine?
NEVER.
i'm going to take this a step further and say that this is precisely how the healthcare reform debate is going down in our country right now. new data released thursday said over 46 million americans had no access to health insurance in 2008. i get [rightfully] annoyed when i hear people complain that we don't need any healthcare reform because it's exactly the same as all those in our country who are currently freaking out about swine flu but don't give a crap about AIDS in africa. when people don't feel threatened by something, they don't have to care. but when they do feel threatened -- well, that's when we see a bunch of activists coming out and fighting on behalf of...that's right, themselves. people who have health insurance can sit comfortably and complain because they have no clue what it's like to not have health insurance. in their mind, their right to hoard what they have earned is being threatened and thus they need to fight. but for all of us who are christians, isn't that way of thinking backward? aren't we supposed to be considering the needs of others before our own?
i really hate hearing people say they have a right to healthcare simply because they've worked hard to afford it. the reality is, there are many factors beyond our control that contribute to our ability to "work hard." i was born into a good family with 2 parents who provided me a stable and loving environment to grow in. my parents both worked and were able to afford to send me to college. now i'm sitting in graduate school about to finish a master's degree. when i finally get a job and start making money, i'll be careful with how i choose my words because i know my success in life has little to do with my own "hard work" (though, i have worked hard) and more to do with luck or blessing, however it is you like to think of these things. in 20 years, many of the kids in my mom's kindergarten class will probably be without health-insurance because they were born into families who didn't care about their success in life, didn't care about their education, and didn't teach them to "work hard." and if we are oblivious enough to think racism is dead in our country, what color skin you have still determines a lot about how lucky you get in life concerning a job, salary, and a whole host of other things. what's astounding to me is that so many pro-life christians stand opposed to healthcare reform as if their lives are more important than the lives of the 46 million people without access to insurance.
we've had a lot of well-meaning people worriedly ask us if our children will have AIDS. and we always tell them that while we are requesting children without any major medical needs, we see no reason why people who have the financial resources to afford treatment shouldn't adopt children who are HIV positive. tragically, our own state department wouldn't even allow HIV positive children into this country until a few years ago even though people knew AIDS wasn't "contagious" and knew that if these children were allowed into the US they would have a good chance at living long lives because they'd have access to drugs and treatment. the point i'm trying to make in all of this is that, as christians, we can't hoard our resources and we can't decide something is important just because we feel threatened. we see in the bible that the early christians held everything in common. they didn't believe that just because they'd "worked hard" for their food they didn't have to share it. and the same goes for all of us today. we have to be open-handed with everything...including our health insurance (i know someone out there is thinking "holy crap, she's a socialist." but i'm pretty sure this is the gospel and has nothing to do with any political ideology). the lives of children with AIDS are just as important as the lives of children without AIDS. the lives of those of us living in developed nations are just as important as those who live in developing nations. and the lives of those of us lucky or blessed enough to have health insurance are just as important as the lives of those who don't.
right now, AIDS deaths and infections are expected to total 100 million by 2012. the majority of those deaths will be in developing nations, many of them on the continent of africa. though people in the US and other developed nations still are being infected, most of the infected citizens of these countries can afford access to drugs and treatment. let me be ballsy for a moment and say that the reason we haven't seen the same large-scale response to AIDS that we've seen to swine flu is that the powers that be -- aka, people in the western hemisphere, in developed nations -- haven't felt threatened by AIDS and thus haven't seen a real need to do anything about it. swine flu, however, has been a different story because i think people have realized we're all vulnerable to infection. the reports on the news that people in the US have actually died of swine flu freak us all out a bit. all of a sudden, it's necessary to report every single swine flu infection on the news and create lists of who should receive swine flu shots first. and i have to ask: when have we ever heard AIDS deaths and infections tallied daily on the news? and when have we ever really seen people prioritize who should get access to AIDS treatment and medicine?
NEVER.
i'm going to take this a step further and say that this is precisely how the healthcare reform debate is going down in our country right now. new data released thursday said over 46 million americans had no access to health insurance in 2008. i get [rightfully] annoyed when i hear people complain that we don't need any healthcare reform because it's exactly the same as all those in our country who are currently freaking out about swine flu but don't give a crap about AIDS in africa. when people don't feel threatened by something, they don't have to care. but when they do feel threatened -- well, that's when we see a bunch of activists coming out and fighting on behalf of...that's right, themselves. people who have health insurance can sit comfortably and complain because they have no clue what it's like to not have health insurance. in their mind, their right to hoard what they have earned is being threatened and thus they need to fight. but for all of us who are christians, isn't that way of thinking backward? aren't we supposed to be considering the needs of others before our own?
i really hate hearing people say they have a right to healthcare simply because they've worked hard to afford it. the reality is, there are many factors beyond our control that contribute to our ability to "work hard." i was born into a good family with 2 parents who provided me a stable and loving environment to grow in. my parents both worked and were able to afford to send me to college. now i'm sitting in graduate school about to finish a master's degree. when i finally get a job and start making money, i'll be careful with how i choose my words because i know my success in life has little to do with my own "hard work" (though, i have worked hard) and more to do with luck or blessing, however it is you like to think of these things. in 20 years, many of the kids in my mom's kindergarten class will probably be without health-insurance because they were born into families who didn't care about their success in life, didn't care about their education, and didn't teach them to "work hard." and if we are oblivious enough to think racism is dead in our country, what color skin you have still determines a lot about how lucky you get in life concerning a job, salary, and a whole host of other things. what's astounding to me is that so many pro-life christians stand opposed to healthcare reform as if their lives are more important than the lives of the 46 million people without access to insurance.
we've had a lot of well-meaning people worriedly ask us if our children will have AIDS. and we always tell them that while we are requesting children without any major medical needs, we see no reason why people who have the financial resources to afford treatment shouldn't adopt children who are HIV positive. tragically, our own state department wouldn't even allow HIV positive children into this country until a few years ago even though people knew AIDS wasn't "contagious" and knew that if these children were allowed into the US they would have a good chance at living long lives because they'd have access to drugs and treatment. the point i'm trying to make in all of this is that, as christians, we can't hoard our resources and we can't decide something is important just because we feel threatened. we see in the bible that the early christians held everything in common. they didn't believe that just because they'd "worked hard" for their food they didn't have to share it. and the same goes for all of us today. we have to be open-handed with everything...including our health insurance (i know someone out there is thinking "holy crap, she's a socialist." but i'm pretty sure this is the gospel and has nothing to do with any political ideology). the lives of children with AIDS are just as important as the lives of children without AIDS. the lives of those of us living in developed nations are just as important as those who live in developing nations. and the lives of those of us lucky or blessed enough to have health insurance are just as important as the lives of those who don't.
Thursday, September 10, 2009
adoption update
"sometimes i would like to ask God why he allows poverty, suffering, and injustice when he could do something about it."
"well, why don't you ask him?"
"because i am afraid he would ask me the same question." -- anonymous
well, we are currently waiting for money from a sell of stock to hit our bank account so we can FINALLY send our USCIS fee and I-600A. jamie bought some stock a few months ago when the market started going up, and though it'd be nice to continue to allow the investment to make money, the money is better used now to pay this fee. remember, USCIS stands for united states citizenship and immigration services. the I-600A is also known as the "application for advance processing of orphan petition." i don't exactly know how to explain what it does, but i do know that it speeds up the government-end of our process. we will (hopefully) receive an appointment in the next few weeks to be fingerprinted at the CIS office in charlotte, where we will also have our last meeting with our social worker.
we are still aiming to send our dossier to ethiopia in january. once our fingerprints are done, USCIS has to process all our paperwork (including our homestudy, i think) and officially approve us to adopt. that can take up to 4 months. A LOT of timing issues and A LOT of money will have to come together in order for us to make it by january, and if we don't make it by then, we will have to be content with whatever happens. i'm not sure if i have mentioned on here that the ethiopian courts close about this time every year due to rainy season. if you get a referral right before courts close, it's likely you'll be waiting until the courts re-open to get a court date, pass court, and travel. though we wish the timing would work out to have our kids home by this time next year, we try to be real about the fact that it's very likely our kids won't be home until next christmas. in some ways, that's good a thing because we'll have more time to prepare and pay off student debt. but it's very hard, because we want our children now.
honestly, i sometimes struggle with jealousy when i see other families who have zipped through the adoption process because they already had money set aside for their adoption. i read these blogs where families decided to adopt months after we did and have already sent their USCIS fee and had their fingerprints done. we've had to wait to be able to write every single check we've written so far. and sometimes it's hard not to see families who have fundraised their entire adoption (literally raised $25,000) and wonder why God has not blessed us in the same way. the truth is, we have been abundantly blessed in many ways. rather than focusing on whose done what or how much money some people have been able to raise, i need to rejoice that because of God's graciousness to so many families (including us), children are being rescued out of poverty, disease, and death.
"well, why don't you ask him?"
"because i am afraid he would ask me the same question." -- anonymous
well, we are currently waiting for money from a sell of stock to hit our bank account so we can FINALLY send our USCIS fee and I-600A. jamie bought some stock a few months ago when the market started going up, and though it'd be nice to continue to allow the investment to make money, the money is better used now to pay this fee. remember, USCIS stands for united states citizenship and immigration services. the I-600A is also known as the "application for advance processing of orphan petition." i don't exactly know how to explain what it does, but i do know that it speeds up the government-end of our process. we will (hopefully) receive an appointment in the next few weeks to be fingerprinted at the CIS office in charlotte, where we will also have our last meeting with our social worker.
we are still aiming to send our dossier to ethiopia in january. once our fingerprints are done, USCIS has to process all our paperwork (including our homestudy, i think) and officially approve us to adopt. that can take up to 4 months. A LOT of timing issues and A LOT of money will have to come together in order for us to make it by january, and if we don't make it by then, we will have to be content with whatever happens. i'm not sure if i have mentioned on here that the ethiopian courts close about this time every year due to rainy season. if you get a referral right before courts close, it's likely you'll be waiting until the courts re-open to get a court date, pass court, and travel. though we wish the timing would work out to have our kids home by this time next year, we try to be real about the fact that it's very likely our kids won't be home until next christmas. in some ways, that's good a thing because we'll have more time to prepare and pay off student debt. but it's very hard, because we want our children now.
honestly, i sometimes struggle with jealousy when i see other families who have zipped through the adoption process because they already had money set aside for their adoption. i read these blogs where families decided to adopt months after we did and have already sent their USCIS fee and had their fingerprints done. we've had to wait to be able to write every single check we've written so far. and sometimes it's hard not to see families who have fundraised their entire adoption (literally raised $25,000) and wonder why God has not blessed us in the same way. the truth is, we have been abundantly blessed in many ways. rather than focusing on whose done what or how much money some people have been able to raise, i need to rejoice that because of God's graciousness to so many families (including us), children are being rescued out of poverty, disease, and death.
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