the ladybug cake, part 2

if you saw this post, you know my friend, erin, and i did a trial run a couple of months ago for her daughter, sophie's, first birthday cake. i suggested to erin awhile back that we should do a fondant cake for sophie since you can take more artistic license with fondant because it can be molded, cut into shapes, etc.

well, friday was the big day, and we had our dear friend, leigh, to help create the finished product. here's what we came up with:

now, here's the backstory and how-to. erin and i got together thursday night and made the cakes so they could chill in the refrigerator overnight to make icing and then applying the fondant easier. apparently, i threw a fit the last time we did this and insisted that sophie should have a homemade cake on her birthday (instead of box mix), so we tried 2 different cake recipes for the tiers (the bottom tier was chocolate, the 2 smaller tiers were vanilla). but some unfortunate things happened, including me doing something weird with the butter in the middle cake tier, and we were forced back to box mix. that actually ended up better because we found the last time that adding an extra egg and a box of pudding mix to the box mix helps make a denser cake.

we cooked the bottom cake in a wok, the middle cake in a mixing bowl, and the little cake in a small dish. we frosted all the cakes with homemade buttercream frosting. erin had the vision to contrast the colors of the three ladybugs, so she increased the amount of red food coloring in each cake, adding a little black to the last one. you can't see much different between the bottom and middle tiers in the pictures, but the big cake was more raspberry red while the middle cake was more hot pink. and, as a side note, if you ever try this, use food coloring dye instead of gel. everybody thought the black gel made the fondant extremely bitter.

in all, we were pleased with how the final product came out. the cake is a bit more lumpier than the second cake from last time, but we were working with a substantially larger cake. plus, we were in a bit of a time crunch, so we had to throw perfection out the window. besides, this little girl was happy, so i think we did our job right!

i couldn't agree more

biological family is too small of a vision. patriotism is far too myopic. a love for our own relatives and a love for the people of our own country are not bad things, but our love does not stop at the border. -- shane claiborne

the real deal

i'm becoming a mom for the first time. through adoption.

sometimes i just want to be real about what that feels like.

for more than 18 months, i have had two children growing in my heart. normally, i hate alluding to pregnancy when i'm talking about our adoption because i don't think adoption needs to be metaphorized. but this allusion works for me because i have experienced it. i remember the small beginnings of deciding to follow God's calling to adopt a child. i remember how God enlarged that calling to include another child. i remember how we toiled and prayed and worried about how we'd get the money. i remember how, in all of that, our love for our children increased.

i know how it feels like my love for them is literally going to bust out of my heart. i miss them every.single.day of my life. and adoptive parents can tell you that no matter how weird it sounds, this is possible. you can miss people you've never even met. and you can love them intensely.

so imagine what it's like to be told you're not a mom. no, nobody said this to me directly -- as in, nobody just walked up to me today and said, "hey lauren, did you know you're not a mom?" it was more like "when you're not a mom, it's hard to understand ______________." i'm sure the person speaking didn't think much about the statement, but i did. because i do think i'm a mom. at least as much of a mom as a pregnant woman is. there are two children out there who are mine. right now, they are in my heart and not my belly or my home. i've prepared for them. i've sacrificed for them. i love them. i long for them. no, i haven't experienced the sleepless nights or poopy diapers yet. but i am the mother of two children in ethiopia. really.

a new pair of shoes

i have to put in a shameless plug for toms shoes.

apparently, it was cool and trendy to wear toms like 2 years ago. but i just got on the bandwagon back in the spring, so i'm a little late. when it came time to buy a new pair of shoes for winter (because the new balance tennis shoes i normally wear when it gets cold -- because, when it gets cold, i quit really caring about fashion -- are officially out of commission thanks to some heavy duty yard work), i decided that i really couldn't go wrong with buying a new pair of toms.

boy, did i underestimate how much i really couldn't go wrong with another pair of toms. i own 2 pairs of classic toms. if you have no idea what classic toms are, you basically just slip them on your bare feet and go. i've seen people with a funky (and, in my opinion, enviable) fashion sense wear socks with classic toms, but i didn't think i could pull that look. so i decided to purchase a pair of toms with laces so that i could get the functionality of a tennis shoe (ie, so my whole foot would be covered up in the chilly weather). here's what i got (laces not pictured):





now i'm going to encourage you to buy a pair of toms. any pair. why? well, my assumption is that, like me, it might be time for you to buy a new pair of shoes for winter. and toms has quite possibly the best business model aside from just simply giving stuff away for free to everybody. when you buy a pair of toms, toms will give a pair of shoes to a child in need. i just recently read the first annual toms giving report, and it's incredible how much thought toms has put into how they distribute shoes around the world. they not only work with non-profits (like world vision!) on the ground in places like ethiopia(!) to determine where the most need exists, but they also continue to supply children with shoes knowing that most children outgrow a pair of shoes every 6 months. and because toms serves children in different types of climate and terrain, toms has been intentional about designing particular shoes for particular locations.

since most of us have never lived in a place where shoes are a luxury, it might also be helpful to point out that something as simple as not having a pair of shoes can be a huge barrier to a child's upward mobility. many schools require children to wear shoes, so not having shoes can prevent many children from getting an education. not having shoes can also be fatal. children who walk barefoot in many third world countries are susceptible to parasites and infections that can kill them if not treated. and if these parasites are not fatal, they are often very painful. many children suffer daily from itching and burning caused by jiggers, small mites that dig into the feet.

if you are planning to invest in a pair of shoes this winter, please consider buying a pair of toms. i know of no other company or brand name or designer that has a "one for one" business model. and quite honestly, it just seems silly to invest in any other pair of shoes knowing that you could literally be sparing the life of a child just by being intentional about the shoes you purchase. you can check out the many different varieties of toms shoes here.

orphan sunday

i've had a couple of awkward adoption conversations lately with co-workers. a couple of weeks ago, someone asked me if i have kids.

"no," i said, "not yet. but my husband and i are adopting, so we hopefully will soon."
"adopting?" he said. "so you mean, you can't have kids."
"well, we have never tried to have biological children. we have always wanted to adopt."
"you haven't even tried the old-fashioned way??" he chuckled. "you know, you're going to pay a lot to adopt a kid when you could've just had one yourself."
"um, actually there are are a lot of children around the world who don't have moms and dads."

at that point, i wanted to ask him what he hoped would happen if one day he and his wife died and there was no one in their family to care for their two children. maybe he wouldn't have laughed off adoption so quickly if he actually had pictured his kids desperately in need of a family. but i didn't. instead, i nicely fielded a few more questions about adoption and let him have the last word when he ended our conversation by saying: "well, i'm going to keep having kids the old-fashioned way. it's much more fun."

then, yesterday, one of my co-workers was telling a story about going on lunch outings when there were just 4 employees on our team. they used to joke around about how people must have thought they were a family with one biological child and one adopted child (since one guy on the team is african american). but the guy who they said was the adopted child always complained and asked why he had to be the "adopted child"...and, of course, the tone used to say "adopted child" was extremely negative. my heart pinged. i wanted to shout that there is nothing wrong with being adopted. i wanted to demand that someone tell me why being adopted is such an insult. but i didn't. i just stood there being sad.

i hope and pray that churches across the country are breaking down these stereotypes today. there are still so many believers who think adoption is a last resort or a second choice to have biological children. and because of this, most people think being adopted is undesirable. the truth is, adoption was in the heart of God before the beginning of time. it was not a second choice or last resort idea for our salvation. it was the way he planned it all along. God wanted so much to be our mom and dad (because God isn't male or female) that he was willing to make a costly sacrifice for that to happen. if any believer thinks it is undesirable to be adopted or that the only children who are really "your own" are kids who look like you and share your DNA or that adoption is the option left when all other options are exhausted, let them reconsider the gospel in light of ephesians 1 and romans 8 and hear that adoption is all of our stories.

this is why adoption is more than just charity, humanitarian work, or philanthropy. it is the gospel being fleshed out in a very practical way. and the thing is, we serve a God who delights in justice for the orphan. scripture is so clear about God's relationship to orphans, not only in light of how he saves us but also in how he is grieved by the plight of orphans in this world. he commands his followers to care for orphans, to provide monetarily for them, to give them justice. scripture says God sets the lonely in families, he comforts them, he defends them. while our adoption into the family of God informs our decision to adopt, so also does the reality that as christians, we are called to be like God. if i'm to be like God, then i must be actively participating in justice for orphans because that's what he does.

what i don't want people to hear today is that adoption is the only way or the best way or the most important way to care for orphans. there are many ways to participate in orphan care...adoption is just one of them. as an adoption advocate, i believe that adoption is still very much needed in this world. there are 15 million children who have lost both parents. there is nothing preventative we can do for them. they need families now. i would tell any family on the precipice of starting a family or expanding their family to sincerely have an open heart to God about how he wants to add a child to their family. i truly believe God is calling more people to adoption.

on the flip side of being an adoption advocate, i'm also a birth family advocate. i want children who can stay with their birth families to be able to. that's where things like child sponsorship, volunteering in your community, and even foster care come in. if you can commit $30 a month to a child, you can provide food and medical resources that prevent birth parents from having to place their child for adoption because of poverty or illness. by volunteering as a guardian ad litem, you can be a child's voice in court to ensure they don't go back to an abusive or neglectful family situation. by volunteering with non-profits that seek to prevent child abuse and neglect, you can mentor a troubled parent and help them learn how to responsibly parent their child. by doing foster care, you can ensure a child has a safe and loving home until their birth parents are able to resume caring for them (or until they are placed for adoption).

and, in general, we all should be praying and being generous with our resources. the thing is, everyone will be called in different ways to do orphan care. but i do think everyone is called in some way (and if scripture isn't compelling about this, john piper will back me up). no one should feel inferior if their calling is prayer and another's calling is adoption. if you are doing what God has called you to, then you are doing enough.