some good words

don't worry faithful readers. i'm not becoming obsessed with blogging, though it seems i've posted a lot lately.

first, we have a renter for our apartment! that's an answer to prayer even though the new tenant isn't coming until august, meaning we still owe july's rent. but we are relieved to get out of our lease so that we can make a smooth transition to our new house.

second, we chatted with a couple at our church this morning about adoption and ethiopia. they brought home their now-21-month old son, sam, about this time last year from ethiopia. it was such a blessing to see little sam running around, playing with his older brother and sister, knowing that God provided him with a wonderful family after he was abandoned by his birth mother. this family is such a picture of hope for us because we know, despite the daunting task of paperwork and raising money, that one day our child will be home with us. they were able to clarify some of the confusing parts of the adoption process, and they encouraged us with their passion for the orphans of the world. it continues to be obvious to us that the most difficult part of the adoption process is knowing there is a child out there meant to be yours and having to wait for government approval before that child can come home to you. but they reminded us this morning that the process will refine us, and we have already experienced that in many ways.

third, we had a guest preacher at church this morning who really brought a wonderful word. i told jamie that i will consult this guy if i ever become a preacher and want to lay the smack down on people without sounding mean or too preachy. he preached on isaiah 58, and i would encourage you to read the entire chapter even though i'm going to post a small section:

"is not this the fast i choose: to loose the bonds of injustice, to undo the thongs of the yoke, to let the oppressed go free, and to break every yoke? is it not to share your bread with the hungry, and bring the homeless poor into your house; when you see the naked, to cover them, and not to hide yourself from your own kin? (vv. 6-7)

like i said, you should read the whole chapter. but the preacher talked about how we possess such a skewed view of justice. we think of justice as the bad people getting what they deserve. but the bible gives us an understanding of justice that is much different. justice is how the world would be if we all still lived in the garden of eden and how the world will be when jesus comes again to bring final restoration. our job as christians is to work towards this restored world, even though we can never bring it about completely on our own and thus eagerly await jesus' return. but so often, we let our own selfishness get in the way. we are concerned too much with our own comfort and, as he put it this morning, preserving our own rights. we have turned so much inward that we've forgotten that there's an entire world out there groaning for redemption.

i told jamie this morning that we can't pat ourselves on the back for adopting, as if that's our one contribution to making the world a better place. there is still a lot we can do to turn away from our own selfishness and look towards the needs of others. but in regard to our adoption, we know that we need to be more careful with how we spend our time and money. if we want to raise funds for our adoption, we have to quit buying stuff we don't need. if we want a miracle to come in the form of financial provision, we have to seek God in his word and in prayer. the point is that we sacrifice so that someone else is bettered and so that the kingdom of God is furthered. and the great encouragement is that jesus was poor, jesus was the victim of injustice, and jesus knew what it meant to pour himself out on behalf of others. so jesus can identify not only with those we hope to help, but also with us as we seek to learn sacrifice and selflessness.

lastly, today is my wonderful husband's birthday! i've got to go make a chocolate cake...

acacia village

in my last post, i asked for prayer regarding a renter for our apartment. we haven't heard any news that someone has signed a lease, so we're still waiting and praying. like i said, we'd really like someone to begin renting in july so we save a month's worth of rent.

we got a brochure in the mail today from christian world adoption (our agency). it's about a new project cwa has started in ethiopia called acacia village. they are building a campus right outside addis ababa (the capital of ethiopia) that will have a children's home, chapel, medical clinic, and life skills school. it will also have guest housing for parents who are coming to complete adoptions. this is a wonderful project for cwa as it will enable them to take in more orphans and provide better care to them. it will also mean they can increase the number of adoptions they complete, which is incredible news considering the crisis in ethiopia. check out these statistics:

• HIV/AIDS alone has orphaned more than 800,000 children in ethiopia
• 13 percent of ethiopia's children (an estimated 4.6 million) are missing one or both parents
• there are an estimated 800 abortions every month in addis ababa because mothers believe they can't raise their babies

if you want to learn more about acacia village and ethiopia, you can click on the link for christian world adoption on the sidebar. we are thankful for all cwa is doing to ensure that ethiopia's children are being nourished and nurtured while they wait for an adoptive family. also, for those readers who like posts with pictures, i'm trying to figure out how to post a picture from a website. jamie and i have already been thinking about how we will decorate our son's room (this is actually a question on one of our homestudy forms), and i wanted to post some pics of possible decor for fun. if anybody knows how to do this, let me know!

please pray

we have two potential renters coming to look at our apartment today. it would be a huge help to our finances, especially regarding our adoption, if one of these people would not only rent the apartment, but would want to begin renting in july instead of august. we'd be saved a month's worth of rent because we already have a house sitting job lined up for july, meaning $825 would go into our adoption account (fyi -- the homestudy fee i mentioned in an earlier post is $800).

i feel very burdened right now about our adoption, as i do most days. we are beginning to realize that next summer may be an unrealistic timeline given that we bought a house this early. we do believe that buying the house was a good decision namely because we love our house and can't imagine bringing our baby home to any other place. if you read jamie's post, you know that we consider this a step of faith not only in terms of where the money will come from but also in trusting that God will give us the patience to endure this process. most days, i feel like it would just be easier to get pregnant and have a baby 9 months later. but that is not what we have been called to do, nor is it what we want to do. we have already become attached to that baby boy in ethiopia who needs a mom and a dad.

i'm hoping to do a little re-vamping of our blog later today (i started greek today, so i've got homework to do first). the more i think about it, i want this blog to focus primarily on our adoption. i don't know how many people actually read our blog, but i want our journey of faith to be a journey of faith for them too...

part 2

Lest I be accused of being altogether absent from the blog that bears my name, I now submit my contribution to the adoption FAQ’s begun in Lauren’s last post. Since I’m the one who deals with the bills and the budget, we thought it appropriate that I would address the following:

How much does adoption cost, and where in the world will you find the funds to pay for it?
The financial costs of adoption are substantial and come in several forms. There are fees paid to our adoption agency, fees paid to the social worker who performs our home study, fees paid to our government, fees paid to the Ethiopian government, and costs of travel to pick up our baby. In all, we expect to spend between $20,000 and $25,000 just to complete the adoption process and get our baby home. This is, of course, in addition to all the expenses that accompany the birth of any child, like furnishing a nursery, purchasing baby clothes, and stocking up on diapers and formula. Really, the costs required to adopt a baby could be pretty daunting to anyone who stops to consider them. That’s why I never think about money or check my checking account balance. Ok, not really, I just wanted to scare Lauren’s and my parents for a second. Truthfully, our budget is the number one thing on my mind these days. I am constantly estimating expenses, forecasting income, and checking, double-checking, and even triple-checking the Excel spreadsheet describing all things monetary in the Dean household.Still, I am not absolutely positive where every penny for the adoption will be found. Some of the money will come from savings, some will come from the income I received from selling my rowing shell and oars, some will come from my paychecks next fall. Mostly, Lauren and I are depending on God to make a clear path for us to pursue that which he has called us to do.God’s provision for us is already evident in many ways. Take for example the house we purchased. We got it at a great price and it requires no repairs, updates, or improvements. In addition, the sellers agreed to let us close in August, so we won’t be paying a mortgage and rent on our old apartment at the same time. The sellers also agreed to pay almost all closing costs, which will save us thousands. Additionally, by closing this year, we’ll receive $8,000 from the government as a tax credit. Depending on what Congress does in the next few weeks, that amount might actually be redeemable towards our down payment, leaving the money we’d saved up for that purpose available for adoption expenses.In addition, God has helped us find money we did not expect. Whether it was the small cash prize I got as part of an award I received from the law school, a graduation gift from family, or an unexpected house-sitting job for the entire month of July, funds that we did not anticipate have been appearing regularly.Though I will continue to budget diligently and account for the spending of every penny, I am not going to pretend I believe this adoption will be paid for by Lauren’s and my diligence. If it is going to happen, it will happen by God’s grace and to His glory, not ours. Uncertainty is not always the most comfortable feeling, especially when it comes to money, but in my best moments I believe scripture is true when it tells us that God faithfully keeps His promises and qualifies those He calls. If it comes down to the two of us, I’d rather be trusting in His grace than my earning power, any day.

adoption q&a

a few weeks ago when we put in the offer to buy our house, we realized the money we had budgeted for the adoption was now going towards the house. and while that was a good thing since we are buying the house for the baby, we knew it might delay the adoption. i sent an email to our social worker, who i should add has already impressed me with her kindness, and asked how much our timeline would be affected if we couldn't pay our fees until september. she said december 2010 was the earliest we could travel if we waited to pay our fees. 6 months longer than we'd planned. thankfully, she told us we could pay one fee up front -- the home study fee, which is the most important at this juncture -- and wait on the rest of the fees until later. doing so wouldn't delay our timeline.

given the craziness of the adoption process, i know many people have a lot of questions about adoption and why we have chosen to pursue international adoption before having biological children. so i decided to answer a few of those questions at length in our blog, a couple today and a couple next time. i would also invite interested readers to check out this column i found in the ny times that focused on international adoption in light of madonna's recent attempt to adopt from malawi. as you will see, there are many critics of international adoption, who, in my opinion, criticize without providing a sufficient alternative course of action: http://ethicist.blogs.nytimes.com/tag/international-adoption/?scp=2&sq=international%20adoption&st=cse

why are you adopting before having biological children?
the simple answer to this is call. we have always known we wanted to adopt, but we feel called to adopt first. many people don't consider adoption until they try to have biological kids and can't. the problem is, with more than 100 million orphans in the world, the crisis will find little relief if everybody sees adoption as a second-rate option. too many people act as if adoption is an inferior way of having children simply because it's taking a child conceived and birthed by someone else and raising it as your own. but that, to us, is the beauty of adoption. the complicated answer to this question is that we have put a lot of consideration into birth order, and we feel it's beneficial to our biological children to be born into a family where there is already an adopted child. that way, having an african brother is normative rather than something to which they must adjust. furthermore, because an adopted child needs to form healthy attachments with family members, we think it's important to let him be the center of attention for awhile, especially since he will be the first grandchild on my side.

won't it be weird having a child that's not the same race as you?
one of the biggest critiques of international adoption is that it takes children out of their native culture. if you read the ny times article, some people have compared it to colonialism -- rich white people taking impoverished african kids and trying to assimilate them to western culture. jamie and i aren't naive to the complications of white people raising a black child. our child won't be immune to the racism that still exists in america, and especially in the south. but despite the issues of racism, this child will have more chances at life here than he would if he remained in africa. until we can solve the problems of AIDS and poverty in africa, international adoption is imperative. but it comes with a caveat. the critics are right about colonialism if those who choose to adopt internationally don't keep their child connected to his/her culture. we plan to teach our son about his heritage as an african and ethiopian. i found out that the official language of ethiopia is amharic, and i would like to learn some of the language. we want him to know about his country, how it is the second oldest christian nation in the world. we hope to encourage him to pursue interests in african music and art, like playing african drums for example. and when he gets older, we want to visit ethiopia so he can see his land and his people.

God is a God of the nations. and it is that wonderful children's song "jesus loves the little children" that reminds me that God takes great pride in all the cultures, languages, and skin colors of our world. for us, adoption is such a beautiful picture of the gospel. for one, it represents how God rescues us from despair and brings us into new life. but it also shows how wide, and high, and deep God's love is -- that it crosses all nationalities and cultures. and it is that same love that demands justice for the orphan.

james dean, esquire

it's been a busy weekend in the dean house. receptions. a house tour. parties. hoodings. a vice president (of the united states). and lots of congratulations. at about noon today, we walked out of wait chapel with nothing on our to-do list for the first time in several days. and jamie walked out a new man -- or at least a man with a new title. though a law degree is considered a doctoral degree (juris doctor), lawyers don't get the title "dr." instead, they receive the title "esquire" at the end of their names. i don't really know what it means, but it sounds cool. both our families were there to watch jamie as he was hooded twice -- once for his law degree, and again for his MBA. i was lucky enough to process in with jamie and sit with him throughout both ceremonies since, obviously, he needed a sighted guide that was not a dog. it was really cool to have that privilege, though i know somebody must have thought i was the idiot graduate who forgot to wear my robe.

rarely do i admit that wake forest has anything over unc, but after today's graduation ceremony, i must confess one thing: graduation on a quad is so much better than graduation in a football stadium. now, i'm not stupid. unc could never host graduation on the quad because there are just too many graduates. but if it could, that would be awesome. there are surely some downs to graduation on the quad (such as the fact that we waited more than an hour in line just to get a seat), but it was an otherwise superior experience to any graduation i've ever been to in a football stadium, maybe including my own. and hey, joe biden was there along with some snipers.

we've been on a crazy sleep schedule since jamie's family arrived friday night. they've been staying with us, which ultimately means jamie and i end up sleeping with at least one nephew in bed with us. and since we let jamie's parents have our bed when they visit, it also means me, jamie, and a nephew squeezed on a tiny air mattress. both our nephews move a lot in their sleep, so both jamie and i have been hit in the face several times in the past few nights with little flailing hands. it makes for some pretty sleep-less nights, but there's also a great feeling in knowing that your nephews love you enough to do almost anything to cuddle next to you in bed.

lastly, our families got to see our new house on saturday. everybody loved it. we are really ready for it to be august, especially considering the grueling summer both jamie and i have ahead of us (he's studying for the bar, i'm taking greek for school). we have had a unique experience buying this house, especially because of the sellers. i actually have been in contact with the wife for several months now regarding my master's thesis. she and her husband have a son with a disability, and i'm doing my thesis on pastoral counseling with families who have disabled children. in one of our correspondances, she mentioned they were trying to sell their house. when we were considering making an offer on the house, i mentioned to her our financial situation and how we are trying to adopt a baby from ethiopia and how i hoped it worked out for us to buy their house for our baby. fast forward to saturday when our nephews were playing on a huge children's playset they have in the backyard. we had been told they were going to take the playset with them. but their real estate agent informed us that the wife wanted us to have the playset for our baby, so they're leaving it. how kind. i almost cried.

we are so grateful to everyone, including the sellers of our house, who have shown such love and support to us in this adoption process. it is daunting everyday to think about how long the process is, and i am often overwhelmed with how much i want to hold that child -- that child who so desperately needs a mother and a father -- right now. i hope to write a little more about that this week, so stay tuned...

ode to megan

my little sister, megan, graduated from college this weekend. one theme of the weekend was that east carolina apparently kept forgetting to count how many chairs were needed to fit all the people. at the big graduation, there weren't enough chairs for the faculty. and at megan's department graduation, there weren't enough chairs for the graduates. when they tried to pull that whole "please save your applause until all names are called" stuff, i decided to disregard that instruction since a university that can't provide enough seating for its faculty and graduates clearly lost all credibility to tell me not to cheer for my little graduate. so when megan crossed the stage, i jumped out of my seat, cheered and hollered and completely annoyed the people behind us, who i should say had been similarly annoying for every second up to that point. and really, how could i NOT cheer? to brag on my sister a bit, she graduated cum laude with a degree in elementary education. that's better than i did by far. like all teachers, she did student teaching this whole semester; but she did it with kindergarten kids which i think is harder than any other grade. seriously, with no other grade level do you have to worry about kids not knowing how to wipe when they go to the potty. she impressed everyone she worked with, including her supervisor, who told her she's been one of the best student teachers they've ever had. suffice it to say, my sister has made our family very proud.

i have to say that megan does a lot of things better than me, organization being one of them (she makes lists all the time, just like my dad). but one thing she's really good at is letting people know exactly what she thinks (she got that from my dad, too). on graduation day, the water got turned off at her apartment complex. megan actually called greenville utilities and complained that it was graduation day and she needed to take a shower. that's my girl.