praises

we just received word from CWA that the $2500 unrelated child fee is NOT due with our dossier. the fee will only be applied if we accept a referral for unrelated kids. this is great news! we now will be able to request 2 kids (siblings or unrelated) without worrying about that fee until we receive a referral. that will give us more time to save money and apply for grants, and it probably also means we won't be waiting FOREVER for our kids. we are thankful for this great news, and also so very thankful for all those who have donated money to our adoption account and items to our yard sale. i'm floored by people who have given even when they themselves are in need. God is doing this -- he is providing for our children. as i have said many times, this is not about us. this is about 2 orphans in ethiopia who need a mom and a dad. this is about looking into the face of the greatest orphan crisis history has ever seen and proclaiming that evil is NOT going to prevail. this is about 147 million minus 2.

please, friends, continue praying for us. pray for our yard sale -- that people would come out and buy our stuff! pray for our chick-fil-a night on the 22nd. pray that people, perhaps even strangers, would continue to give. and pray for the new fundraiser we're going to undertake. my friend leigh informed me that there's a coffee company owned and operated by an ethopian adoptive parent that lets you sell their coffee and receive half the profits to put towards your adoption. basically, we'll just get a website, people can visit the site and purchase the coffee, and the company will send us a check every month. so please, DON'T buy coffee from the grocery store or starbucks or wherever for the next 3 months. buy from us once our site gets up and running!

oh, and pray that we sell our dining room table that we've never actually used. it's up for $650 on craigslist, and we've had 3 inquiries. someone might be coming to see it tomorrow. just pray...

good things

here's a list of good things that have happened (related to our adoption) since i posted thursday:

1. a friend from college said she wanted to give us some money even though she doesn't have a lot herself. she also sent me a great story about her friend who had been working with at-risk teens in DC when funding for her salary was cut. she continued working, believing she'd find a generous donor who would support her, and someone ended up giving her $25,000. what an encouragement!
2. a friend from wilson (whose older sister was a good friend of mine in high school) said he wanted to give us money, and even put our blog link on his facebook for his friends to see. this guy just graduated from college and is working a part-time job as he looks for more job options, but he still wanted to support us.
3. a lady from divinity school emailed me to say she had made an online donation to our adoption account. she had planned to earlier this summer, but then money got tight in her house, but she wanted me to know that she had indeed made the donation she had promised.
4. my friend christy emailed me to say that her co-workers had items to donate for our yardsale.
5. a girl from divinity school emailed me to say she has items for our yardsale.
6. my next door neighbor rang our doorbell today to say that her sister from atlanta had brought some items for our yard sale.
7. a guy from divinity school bought our couch for $50 (it isn't a lot, but it's $50 we didn't have!)
8. a guy from divinity school emailed me to say he has a lot of items he's been planning to sell to a consignment shop to make money for his family, but they decided they want us to have the items for our yardsale. he has a daughter adopted from china, so they understand what we're facing.
9. my new friend erin said that she has stuff for our yardsale even though she had told me earlier they had just purged their house of junk! i'm so glad junk resurfaces quickly...

i praise jesus for each and every one of these individuals who are helping bring our kids home. what blesses me the most is knowing that so many of these people are giving despite their own needs. we are so grateful...and we know that God will continue to provide. oh, and we are making an announcement about our yard sale at church tomorrow, so please pray people will give away their junk!

this is where we are

well, as has happened a few times already in this process, jamie and i thought we had figured out a plan to pay for our adoption, and now are completely at a loss again. i'm pretty discouraged right now. we finally got access to a detailed list of fees related to our adoption, and our friend wasn't mistaken: in addition to the $7250 we send to ethiopia with our dossier, we also have to send $4250 for a second child. if we do adopt unrelated children (which has been the plan), there's an additional $2500 fee (we did know about this fee). there are also 2 other minor fees that increase with the adoption of 2 children. now, what i'm NOT saying is that we are re-thinking 2 children. we believe this is our calling, and we don't believe that a person should walk away from something they feeled called to do just because the path doesn't seem clear. honestly, i think God wants to stretch our faith a little more, and that's scary. i'm looking around at our possessions and wondering what else we can sell; i'm regretting that we ever decided to get cable TV because now we have a one year contract even though we'd like to reclaim that $50 a month; and i'm scared to death to keep asking people for help.

a few weeks ago, i emailed CWA and asked them the time frame for referrals if we decided to adopt siblings. since we are wanting an infant and a toddler, the wait time could be 9-12 months if not longer. that's just to get a referral. our total wait would probably be more like 12-15 months...or longer if we didn't pass court the first time. apparently, it might be less of a wait for twins. 9-12 months is a long time. it's a really long time if you consider that we have already been waiting 6 months. the time frame for 2 unrelated children is 4-6 months. but at this point, we are looking at so many fees (particularly the $4250) that we literally might not be able to afford the additional fees for unrelated children. in other words, we might have to wait.

honestly, maybe God is asking us to re-consider our age range. maybe God wants us to be open to a 4-year-old. maybe God wants us to give up the desire to have an infant. i don't know. what i do know is that we have no clue where the money for this is coming from. we have $8000 (from our homebuyer's tax credit) to put towards the rest of our fees, but after that, we're relying on fundraising and the generosity of others. we have a little bit of extra money leftover every month that we'll also put towards adoption costs, but it isn't enough to cover what costs are left. and there are certainly non-profits that provide grants and interest-free loans, but we can't apply for those until our homestudy is complete, and even after that, it can take a couple months for money to become available through those organizations.

so this is where we are. our need is about $8000. we're having a fundraiser at chick-fil-a on oct. 22. we'll get 10% of the profits that night, and i'm hoping lots of people will come. then we're having a yard sale on oct. 24. we've had several people tell us that they have stuff to donate, so we're just hoping things will sell. i'm pretty sure neither of these events will bring in the $8000 we need, so we are asking for your prayers, asking if you would consider supporting us financially, and asking that you'd tell people about us through your blogs, facebook, twitter, etc. i don't think it's beyond God's ability to stir a stranger's heart to help us.

lastly, i've made this kind of statement on here before, but i want to say it again. jamie and i would NEVER ask for financial support if (1) we didn't believe these 2 precious children were worth the sacrifice and (2) we weren't being responsible with the money we do have. it is difficult and embarrassing to ask for financial support because you feel guilty everytime you have to spend money even if it's for something like food. when jamie started work and we re-did our budget, we asked ourselves what we NEEDED to spend money on every month. we don't need new clothes, we don't need new gadgets for our house, we don't need fancy dinners out...and right now, we don't need furniture in our house. what we need is to pay our bills and give to our church. and i'm not saying that to sound righteous, i'm saying it so that everybody knows that we aren't asking for support even as we go out and buy a bunch of stuff for ourselves. we are doing everything we can to bring our children home. i don't really feel like that many people read this blog, but if you're reading this right now, we can't do this on our own. we need you...your prayers, words of encouragement, anything you can offer us. we need you.

you can pray

i'm writing a quick note on behalf of my friend leigh. for the last 3 weeks, she and her husband gray have been conducting a giveaway to benefit their adoption. when they were officially accepted by their adoption agency, they were told they had $8000 to raise in a couple of months before they could start the adoption process. God has blessed them graciously through various fundraisers, but they still aren't finished. last weekend, they attended the together for adoption conference where they felt God call them to 2 children. and with that calling came a renewed sense of urgency to get the money raised so they can start the paperchase to bring their children home. they are trying to raise $5000 this week. if you're reading this blog, it's likely you don't even know leigh. but i'm asking you to consider at least praying for her and gray this week. and if you have $5 that you can spare, PLEASE consider donating it to their giveaway. they've got an ipod touch on there this week that you could win by simply donating a few bucks. honestly, i feel like this kind of plea gets lost somewhere in everybody's hustle and bustle...but i believe we all must do what we can. and i believe we can do more than we think we can. this is about the lives of 2 very precious children. 2 human beings. go here if you can help.

and on a related note, please also be praying for daniel and abby umlauf. they go to church with us and are anxiously awaiting a referral for their son, moses, from ethiopia. they are hoping to hear something by friday. please pray that they will...

seriously?

last night, i just happened to look up from my greek homework in time to see the most racist commercial on TV. the commercial was for a company selling alarm systems and here's how it went: a white mother and her daughter were happily going about their business when suddenly an intruder kicked in the front door of their house. the commercial could have easily shown the door being kicked in without showing the intruder. but instead, the door swung open and there ready to (i assume) rob, rape, or murder these innocent white people was a thugged out black male. seriously? did they really just go there? and then it showed the mother and daughter running upstairs and talking to the police on the phone as they huddled close together in absolute terror. of course, in the end everything was OK because their alarm system was awesome.

the fact that this commerical went on the air flabbergasts me. i just cannot get over how much racial stereotyping is going on -- innocent, helpless white family vs. up-to-no-good, gangsta black male. oh my gosh, i just can't get over it. what's particularly troubling about this is that i'm sure many people who see this commercial don't think twice about it, which is what's so scary about racism: it's so engrained in us. on a related note, i have wanted to write (for awhile) a post about how much i hate it when white people take pictures of themselves pretending to be gangstas. you know the pictures i'm talking about -- evil eyes, puckered lips, and the hand signs. i have taken a few of these kind of pictures myself, and i'm now ashamed. it is beyond me why anyone would want to glorify a culture that exists primarily for violence, and has been born out of the need of so many american youths (many of them minorities) to be accepted and loved because they never found either of these things in their homes. gang culture is just another visible sign that racism is still alive and kicking in america -- that minorities still have not gained equal footing with whites and are thus destined to believe that the only way to "make it" in america is through violence and crime.

after i posted the above, i googled the commericial hoping to find the name of the company so i could write them a complaint. you would not believe the number of people who have complained about a brinks security commercial that shows white males as the "bad guys." this is what's so wrong with our society as it relates to racism. when a person sees a white male depicted as the "bad guy," they never assume that represents all white people; rather, they assume that guy must be one bad apple among a bunch of good ones, which is why they get all up in arms about having a white male be the "bad guy" (and why i can't find a single complaint about the commerical i saw). however, because of prevailing racist attitudes about minorities, when a black male is portrayed as the "bad guy," most people assume that he represents the majority of black people. and if there is a "good" black person, that person must be the good apple among a bunch of bad ones. you can see how this plays out all the time in our society if you just listen to the way people talk...

(i should also say that the decision to adopt 2 black children has confronted me with my own sin related to racism, and i continue to struggle with how deep racism exists in my soul.)

adoption update

as much as i would like my post about deer safety to remain on top for awhile, i couldn't wait to share a few adoption updates. we received a letter from CIS (citizenship and immigration services) yesterday saying that we should receive our fingerprint appointments in the next 15-30 days. the letter also said that based on our filing date with them (the filing date is when they received our i-600a and $830), they should be able to process and approve our homestudy in 30 days from whenever our homestudy is submitted to them for approval. this was huge news to us because we had been preparing for it to take up to 4 months. at this point, i don't see our homestudy being submitted until mid-november or december, so i think it's still safe to say we're aiming to send our dossier in january.

we are still in a bit of a stalemate concerning our homestudy documents. we have every document we need, but are now waiting until jamie receives his first paycheck so we can record on our financial statement his income after tax deductions. i'm ready to get these documents out of my hands, but jamie reminded me this morning that our social worker may not even write our homestudy until after we've had our second meeting with her, which will be whenever we get our fingerprints done. SO, please pray that the fingerprint appointments are sooner rather than later, and that when she has all of our documents, our social worker gets our homestudy done ASAP.

in other good news, we sent fees to CWA today. finally. we sent $1900 for our first agency fee, and also went ahead and paid a $600 translation fee (they have to translate all our documents before they get sent to ethiopia). this leaves us owing 3 major fees before we can send our dossier: $7500 to ethiopia, $2500 second agency fee, and $2500 unrelated child fee. i have not found proof of any fees related to adopting 2 children in any of our paperwork, so i'm wondering if our friend who told us about that was mistaken. as of now, we plan to use our $8000 homebuyer's tax credit to pay the ethiopia fee. so before january, we need to fundraise $4500. we're having a yard sale on oct. 24th, and also just got word that the chick-fil-a near us is going to do a fundraising night for us where a percentage of their profits will be donated to our adoption account. we are praising jesus for this and continuing to be bold in asking for provision.

most days, i feel like noah building the ark. i can imagine that noah must have told his friends that building the ark was quite an exhausting task. and i'm sure their replies must have been: "well, you're the one who chose to build this boat for no reason," not understanding that noah had received a calling from God that literally saved his life. i have had one too many people tell me that we're "choosing" to do what we're doing and thus shouldn't expect people to help us financially. and it's true, if we had started this adoption at a time when we had all the money to pay for it, we wouldn't need anybody's help -- including God's. i say that because i think God calls us to do things when we're not at all prepared to do them so that we have no choice but to rely on him. sometimes, i don't particularly like when people say "God called me to do this" or "God told me to do that" because i think plenty of terrible things have happened in our world because God "called" someone to do something. but in our case, i have no other way to describe our adoption than a calling on our life. and personally, i don't think we have much of a choice but to obey.

a little serious, a little funny

it seems as though everybody i know in the blog world has written a post about why they love fall, which has inspired me to write my own post about fall. but this post will not be about why i love this season. don't get me wrong: fall is my favorite season of the year because of how delightfully full my soul fills when there's a twinkle of cool crispness in the air. but there is one thing about fall that makes my soul cringe:

i hate deer. in fact, i have an irrational fear of them. and for everything i love about fall, deer are the one black mark against this season, for it is during fall that deer become more active (due to mating season and new food patterns) and thus more likely to run out in front of you while you're happily driving down the road. personally, i'm flabbergasted when a person hits a deer and worries more about if the deer is OK than about how they just walked away from a collision that could have caused serious injury or even death. if i ever hit and kill a deer, i won't feel guilty that the deer died and i lived.

because of my irrational fear of deer, i have been known to google things such as "avoiding a deer collision" and "what to do if you're going to hit a deer." so in honor of fall, here are a few things you should know:

1. deer are most active between 6pm and 6am, especially in the hours right around sunset and sunrise.

2. you should always be vigilant in areas where a deer sign is posted. they don't make those signs bright yellow with a big leaping deer in the middle for nothing.

3. i take #2 a bit further and remain vigilant on every single road that looks like it'd be a prime deer-hitting spot. if there are woods or fields on the sides of the road, you might not be safe. and when i say vigilant, what i mean is that you should always be looking out for deer, always prepared that one could run across the road at any minute, and perhaps driving at a reduced speed just in case. oh, and bright lights are good too.

4. deer tend to travel in groups, so if you see one, there are probably others. therefore, if a deer runs out in front of you, wait until you are sure there aren't more coming before you continue on your journey.

5. if you are going to hit a deer (ie, one is in the middle of the road, blinded by your headlights (ie, lauren's greatest fear ever)), DO NOT SWERVE. you may get yourself into an even more serious accident by losing control of your car. in other words, just hit the deer.

6. if you hit a deer, move your car to the side of the road and call the police. do not mess with the deer, even if you think it's dead. deer have been known to suddenly resurrect and charge.

the irony of all of this is that in the 2 months we've been living in this house, i have had deer run out in front of me 3 times on the main road our neighborhood sits off of. earlier this week, we had to stop suddenly because one deer ran out, and then another, and then another. and it's only the beginning of fall...