only hope

today is one of those days where i'm just mad at the world. i should say this all really started last night when i stumbled upon a blog post entitled "should single women adopt?" the blogger stated her own mixed feelings on the subject, acknowledging that while there is certainly an orphan crisis in our world today, the church hasn't done enough to assuage the crisis. her point was that if the church was doing enough, single women wouldn't be in the position to adopt in the first place because there would be no need. she got a little wrapped up in the whole debate about God ordaining the family and the church and which one is more important and blah, blah, blah. oh yeah, and then she started talking about what is and isn't biblical. i'm going to risk my own behind for a moment and say that this is precisely why non-christians chuckle at christians when it comes to the bible. people spend so much time arguing about what is "biblical" that they miss what's right in front of them. somehow the clear mandate to care for widows and orphans (james 1:27) gets lost in the debate about the church vs. the family and which one is "more biblical." perhaps i'm going out on a limb here, but i'm pretty sure God doesn't really care who is caring for widows and orphans as long as they're being cared for. and i'm also pretty sure that God doesn't appreciate when people spend so much time debating about the "most biblical" course of action that they forget to actually act. suffice it to say, i'm in full support of single women who adopt...

our social worker came today. we talked a lot about the demands of 2 children. i appreciated that our social worker was honest about the fact that she is an advocate for the children, seeking to make sure that families are prepared to handle the difficult issues that can arise in parenting a child that has likely experienced trauma early in life. some children come home well-adjusted without any major issues related to PTSD; others do not. for example, in our comfortable lives here in america, we forget that children in other countries suffer everyday from malnutrition. it is extremely difficult for some of these children, once adopted, not to hoard food or become crippled by fear if their mother denies them a cup of milk. their life narrative up until the point they were adopted was one of distrust, uncertainty, and unmet needs. on top of food, sleep, and behaviorial issues, some children could have been physically or sexually abused by a family member or even an orphanage caretaker. so when you prepare yourself for the worst-case scenario, it's a lot of work, especially if you adopt 2 kids and both kids are worst case scenarios.

BUT, to me, that's one of the reasons why we adopt. our social worker put it so well: we don't just adopt to parent these children, we adopt to be a part of healing them. i don't understand why there are so many people in our world who think so little of adoption when there are so many children who have suffered such tremendous loss and unthinkable pain. people don't like hearing about babies who have been abused or children who have literally watched their parents die of AIDS. it makes us uncomfortable and perhaps a little guilty. but we have to confront the evil in this world. we have to look it straight in the face and be willing to do something about it. we have to quit thinking of orphans as "less than" or "damaged" or "somebody else's kid." they are precious in God's sight. they should be precious in ours. sometimes, i wish we could take 10 children. but we agreed that we would put some more thought and prayer into just requesting 2 children before all the paperwork goes through. i have to say, my pride was a little annoyed with having to "reconsider." my pride really doesn't want people who think we're crazy for wanting 2 to feel satisfied with themselves. but i'm willing to reconsider if only to make sure our motives are right. honestly, there's a part of me that wonders "can i really handle 2 traumatized children?" and then there's this other part of me that says "you have to do everything you can because you are their only hope."

a bit of everything

OK, i wanted to write a quick post to report on my first day of school. i know first days of school are not really exciting once you're on your third year of graduate school, but it's exciting to me because this is my last semester of divinity school. thank God this is about to end. i've planned myself a nice little semester:

church history, part 1
intermediate greek readings (i'm obsessed with my greek new testament)
africa and the bible (this probably won't be as exciting as it sounds)
pastoral response to trauma and addiction

...plus my dreaded senior project aka master's thesis that i'm a little behind on. despite the fact that i'm still hacking up my lungs and woke up this morning feeling like i'd been run over by a train because i couldn't go to sleep last night due to said cough, i had a really good first day at school. it reminded me of why i came to divinity school and why i chose wake. people don't judge you there. you can say whatever you need to say, ask any question you want to ask, express any sort of doubt you feel, and people don't look at you like you've got 10 heads. i had a conversation with a classmate today about hospital chaplaincy and about doing things out of line with your theology simply because it's what a grieving family member who has just lost a loved one needs. let's be honest, sometimes theology and doctrine get in the way of christians just being real, genuine people who show the love of christ to others. but i say all that also to say that while i value being a part of a community where people are free to think and doubt and question, i value equally being apart of a community where people unashamedly seek truth and aren't afraid to speak up for it even if that means rebuking a brother or sister in christ when he or she has strayed too far from the truth of the gospel. we had our second home fellowship group last night, and i'm so incredibly excited about this new group of people in my life. we unanimously agreed to read tim keller's the reason for God and discuss it each week while sharing a meal together. jamie and i have been wanting to read this book for awhile, so i was excited we finally had a reason to buy it :)

also, i plug books on here all the time, so it should be no surprise that i'm plugging another one. as the mother-to-be of 2 adopted children, i kind of see it as my new job to always be advocating for adoption. i believe adoption is gospel. i believe we are literally seeing the worst orphan crisis in history. and i believe that if adoption is gospel, it is the answer for millions of children who do not have families to care for them, love them, keep them safe, and provide a hopeful future for them. i'm not ashamed to admit that i think all christians should at least consider adoption. i know someone out there is thinking that it must be easy for me to say since i've already decided to adopt. let me be clear: i'm not trying to mount a moral high horse here. i'm just pleading with people to consider adoption. to see that if these children are not adopted, they will not live. no, they might not physically die, but they will not live the abundant life jesus came to give us. maybe this would be easier to hear coming from me if i said that though deciding to adopt was easy for me, deciding to adopt from africa was not. to be honest, i was quite closed to african adoption for sometime because the thought of 2 white people raising a black child freaked the heck out of me. but God called us to africa. God changed my heart. and i now cannot imagine anticipating 2 babies from any other country but ethiopia.

maybe the first step to consideration would be this book, adopted for life: the priority of adoption for christian families & churches. i've only read the first few pages, but i'm already hooked. let me share:

jesus reconciles us to God and to each other. as we love our God, we love our neighbor; as we love our neighbor, we love our God. we believe jesus in heavenly things -- our adoption in Christ; so we follow him in earthly things -- the adoption of children. without the theological aspect, the emphasis on adoption too easily is seen as mere charity. without the missional aspect, the doctrine of adoption too easily is seen as mere metaphor. but adoption is contested, both in its cosmic and missional aspects. the scriptures tell us there are unseen beings in the air around us who would rather we not think about what it means to be who we are in christ. these rulers of this age would rather we ignore both the eternal reality and the earthly icon of it. they would rather we find our identity, our inheritance, and our mission according to what we can see and verify as ours -- according to what the bible calls 'the flesh' -- rather than according to the veiled rhythms of the spirit of life. that's why adoption isn't charity -- it's war.

and we're back

when we walked into our house today, i felt like we'd been gone forever. we had a fun time while visiting jamie's family despite the fact that we both got sick and are still hacking up our lungs. i accompanied my sister-in-law, janelle, on a back-to-school clothes shopping trip for our nephew, tyler, who is starting kindergarten in a few weeks. i had a blast picking out clothes and watching him light up every time he got to try on a new outfit. he is going to be one sharp looking kindergartner. while we were in the store, tyler happened to spot pjs that looks like a buzz lightyear (from toy story) outfit. our nephew, trevor, is obsessed with buzz lightyear. so, as a treat, janelle bought the boys the pjs, and i wish i had some video footage of trevor's reaction when he saw the buzz lightyear pjs. huge smile. delighted little squeal. ahhhh, little kids (especially our nephews) are adorable. as i mentioned in my last post, we spent the last part of our trip in new jersey and new york. our trip to the seeing eye, where jamie and janelle got their seeing eye dogs, was interesting. i could probably write an entire blog post about the need for disability advocacy and awareness, and i just might one of these days, but not now. all i will say is that there are many people in our world who, by no fault of their own, are disadvantaged and it is not fair. lastly, we did spend a day in nyc, and i think a day was just enough for jamie and me. our brother-in-law, steve, had never been to the city before, so we crammed in a bunch of stuff in one day. it was well worth it, but i'm pretty convinced i won't go back to nyc any time soon unless (1) it's christmas or (2) i can spend time in one of the more laid back, artsy districts like soho or greenwich village. i'm officially over the nyc tourist circuit.

on the adoption front -- our social worker is coming in a week! and jamie's birth certificates finally came in the mail! please pray our social worker gets our homestudy written quickly. we are dependent upon it being completed to apply for grants, which we will certainly need to be able to send off our dossier. also, please pray that we will be able to send off our USCIS fee soon. we had originally thought we'd be able to send it off when we sent off our homestudy fees, but we are waiting to evaluate our finances after we see how much utilities in this house cost. one fun surprise we received today when we arrived home was a package from jamie's rowing coach, karen. she sent us a bunch of cloth diaper stuff (yes, we are leaning towards using cloth) and some cute onesies including one that says "daddy's little rower" and a baby baseball cap with rowing oars on it. now i'm hoping our baby will be little enough to fit in the onesies!

i will now shamelessly plug the book jamie and i almost finished on our road trip. it's called the hole in our gospel by richard stearns. he left his job as CEO at the tableware company lenox to become the president of world vision. the book is a wonderful, wonderful introduction to why social justice is integral to christianity. i would recommend it to anyone who wants to explore more deeply why christians must take the lead on caring for the poor and oppressed of our world. i will blog more on this later, but check out the book now.

on vacation

jamie and i have a fun couple of weeks planned before i start back to school. we're leaving tomorrow for ohio to spend most of next week with jamie's parents, sister (janelle), brother-in-law (steve), and our nephews. there's not a lot on the agenda, though our almost-3-year-old nephew, trevor, did call me last week to inform me that they bought noah's ark cookie cutters, so it looks like we'll be baking cookies one day. then, next thursday, we're leaving with janelle and steve for a fun little adventure to new jersey and new york. next weekend marks the 85th anniversary of the seeing eye, which is the school where jamie and janelle both got their guide dogs (once again, if you're reading our blog for the first time and don't know us in real life, jamie is visually-impaired). the seeing eye has a lot of activities planned to celebrate 85 years, including tours of their facilities (if you're interested in learning more about the seeing eye, check out the link on the sidebar). being married to jamie, i know a lot about seeing eye dogs and how they're trained, but it will be neat to see where all the action takes place. we'll also get to see our friends the englekings. barb engleking was jamie's trainer when he went 2 years ago to get priscilla. she and her husband, bill, and their sons, will and ray, are sweet, sweet people, which let's be honest, come few and far between north of the mason dixon line :) ray is actually the person who introduced jamie and me to guitar hero, so of course, we are eternally grateful to him.

since the seeing eye is about an hour outside of nyc, we're going to head there for a couple of days. janelle turned 30 in june, so this trip is her birthday celebration. our plans aren't definite yet, but we'll probably spend 2 nights in the city, enjoying the sights during the day. the one thing janelle really wanted to do was eat a fancy dinner in the city. she originally said she wanted to eat at tavern on the green, but i think her choice might have changed. anyway, it'll be fun being in the city. i've been before and seen all the major sites, so i'd like to do some walking around in soho and greenwich village...perhaps taking some artsy pictures. and i'm pumped about getting to wear dresses and heels because there's a fancy dinner at the seeing eye, too! alright, so that's where we'''ll be the next while. look for pictures when we get back! (which, by the way, will be the day before i start back to school...eek!)

love your neighbor as yourself (and other praises)

on saturday, i was sitting on the stairs in our house (which look out the front door) talking to jamie. i happened to notice that our next door neighbor, as she was mowing her front yard, began crossing into our yard. and then she went all the way across our yard. and then down and back again. i looked at jamie and said, "i think lucy is mowing our lawn." now, we certainly knew she wasn't crazy, so it's not like we thought she didn't know whose lawn was whose. but we were dumbfounded at the the thought that lucy was actually mowing our lawn on purpose. so when i noticed that she'd stopped to take a break, i walked out and asked her, "lucy, are you mowing our lawn?" of course, she said yes. and when i told her she didn't have to and explained that my dad is giving us a lawn mower, but we don't have it yet, she matter-of-factly said, "but the bible says to love your neighbor as yourself. if i mow my lawn, i can mow yours too." what? are you serious?

it's strange to me that we were so surprised by lucy's service on our behalf. i think it makes me realize that sacrifice and generosity are pretty much lost in our culture that worships individualism and materialism so much so that even christians are surprised when other christians go out of their way to "love their neighbor." and i think i see that lucy's act of service on our behalf was so radical to me because, honestly, i probably wouldn't have gone out of my way to mow their lawn if the situation had been turned around. it was hot that day. i had other things to do. and yet i'm so grateful that lucy not only loved us as she loved herself, but i'm also grateful that she taught me about what it means to be generous. i have been learning and thinking a lot about generosity and sacrifice as we have begun walking through this adoption process, and i'm constantly convinced that, as christians, our hands are always meant to be open wide. and i don't mean open only to giving money, but open to serve and to love.

we translated the parable of the good samaritan in greek a few days ago (which, as a sidenote, i should say that i cannot read the bible now without thinking of how i could translate whatever i'm reading from english to greek). the parable itself is great because if you think about it (and this is the irony of parables), the story starts with a lawyer asking jesus to tell him exactly who his neighbor is but ends with jesus asking him which one was a neighbor. the beginning question is quite different from what jesus asks in the end. his point is to show that the question we should be asking is not "who is my neighbor?" (ie, "who should i help, and who can i avoid helping and still be OK?); rather, the question should always be "am i being a neighbor?" ... am i going out of my way, throwing my hands open wide, and loving everyone i can with every part of my being? in the bible, both the hebrew and greek words for showing compassion refer to the literal deepest organs of our human bodies. the root of the greek word for showing compassion is actually the greek word for those organs. what a challenge to love our neighbors -- all of them -- with that kind of deep, deep compassion. who is up for it?

lastly, 3 more quick praises. 1. the movers broke our TV, and we're getting a flat screen as a replacement. considering everything i've just said, this is incredibly superficial to post about, but it's free and jamie is very happy. 2. we found out we can claim that $8000 new homebuyer's tax credit right now, so we're sending off our paperwork to the IRS tomorrow. we are pumped because this gives us a lot more money on this end of sending off our dossier (remember, that's the huge packet that gets sent to ethiopia along with about...$8000.) please pray we'll get the money back sooner rather than the 8-12 weeks they estimate for processing because we still need to pay our first agency fee! 3. we're hosting a home group for our church at our house. we had a first get-together tonight. it was great fellowship, and we look forward to more sharing, more laughing, and more koinonia...which reminds me, praise 4... greek ended today and i made an A. oh yeah.

random assortment

so i've decided to post a bunch of random, mostly unrelated thoughts i've had recently.

first, we're loving our house. we've gotten all the boxes on the first floor unpacked, and we're almost ready to tackle the second floor. honestly, we just really lucked out on the neighborhood. we live on a cul-de-sac where everybody knows everybody. we've had neighbors dropping by to say hello and give us goodies like flowers, banana bread, cinnamon rolls, and cards scribbled with children's drawings welcoming us to the street. right now, there are 8 kids that live on this street. 8!

second, we finally sent in our homestudy application and $1850! our social worker called yesterday to say she'd received everything, so i hope we're quickly on our way to having her come visit our house. we are still waiting for jamie's birth certificates to get here from kansas, but other than that, we are almost finished with our part of the homestudy paperchase.

lastly, something a bit deeper. i was doing my nightly blog reading tonight and came across a quote. i'm pretty sure the words speak for themselves, so i won't offer my own lauren commentary:

for i was hungry, while you had all you needed.
i was thirsty, but you drank bottled water.
i was a stranger, and you wanted me deported.
i needed clothes, but you needed more clothes.
i was sick, and you pointed out the behaviors that led to my sickness.
i was in prison, and you said i was getting what i deserved. -- richard stearns, the hole in our gospel

i have been thinking a lot lately about living my life as purposefully as i can. a few weeks ago, we received an email on the divinity school listserv about a former classmate turned youth minister whose church bus blew a tire and flipped several times on the way to youth camp. i followed the journey of one family whose daughter, maggie lee, was critically injured in the crash. after 3 weeks of fighting for her life, she died at the age of 12. what became clear to me as i read maggie lee's story was that we cannot put off the good we must do in this world. we can't act as if we've got an entire lifetime to feed the poor, clothe the naked, and love the stranger. we must be doing those things now, striving to be wise stewards of whatever amount of time we are given.

if you want to be encouraged and challenged, i invite you to visit the caringbridge site set up by maggie lee's parents. their words of hope and struggle are incredibly profound:

http://www.caringbridge.org/visit/maggieleehenson

new house!

as of late yesterday afternoon, jamie and i officially became homeowners. we are still in the unpacking stage, so please forgive the boxes in the pictures.

living room. we envision in this room a cool coffee table, a couch, a loveseat, a big reading chair, and a cabinet to display stuff we collect when we travel. plus some pictures on the wall, of course.

sunroom. we'll make this room a family room/playroom for our kids. when we have some money, the futon will be gone. i envision a couch with storage underneath and a little white table with chairs for our kids to color on in this room. jamie envisions these things plus a flat screen TV.

dining room. we found that table super-cheap at a pottery barn floor sale. we still need chairs. this will be our everyday dining area because our kitchen and dining room are so close together, and we didn't want to buy 2 tables.

i don't really have commentary for the other pictures. you can obviously figure out what's the kitchen. we also have a small office off the kitchen that i'm obsessed with because it has a built-in desk and bookshelves. on the second floor is our bedroom (which is probably the blandest room in the house), a yellow nursery, a green bedroom that will probably be our oldest child's room. we also outfitted the second bathroom upstairs in a jungle theme complete with elephant tooth brush holder (that was our attempt at planning ahead). and outside, we have a great patio and backyard with a playset!

come visit us!