on the adoption front

sometimes my paranoid little self gets worried that people are out there wondering what in the world is taking us so long to get our papers sent off. it has been 9 months since we first announced we were starting the adoption process. i really don't need to say that if we had announced we were pregnant, we'd already have a kid by now. i'm not saying that as if i'm wishing that we hadn't decided to adopt first because i think we are now more sure of our decision to adopt first than we were 9 months ago. i'm just saying that it has been a long time, and we still aren't on a waiting list. maybe there are people who are thinking we should've just gotten pregnant first. maybe there are people who are thinking that since the money didn't come quickly, it must mean this wasn't the right time for us to adopt. well, i'd invite those people to consider that some of the most recent estimates put the number of global orphans at 153 million. and, well, despite how difficult it has been for us at times to procure funds or whatever the problems have been, i try not to think about all of that. if i get lost in how difficult this has been, then i lose sight of what we're really doing, which is making sure that 2 children know they are loved and protected by a mommy and a daddy. i just get really pissed when i hear anybody criticize people who are adopting.

"you haven't been married long enough." "you don't have enough money." "you aren't prepared for this." "white people can't raise black children." "you're too young to raise a child with that many special needs."

in the long run, NONE of these criticisms hold up against the beautiful reality of a child finding a forever family. if somebody thinks we don't have enough money to adopt and raise 2 children, let me tell them that money isn't everything. i pray to God that if my children learn one thing from me aside from the fact that christ is savior and lord, it is that money and possessions are rubbish. this comes from a person who lives in a nice house in a nice part of town with nice clothes and nice furniture. and, well, i've been living lately in this weird tension of appreciating my possessions and seeing them as God's blessings while simultaneously wanting to throw them out the windows of my nice house. i'll write more about this later in the week.

so i say all that to say that we aren't on a waiting list yet, and i hope people understand why even though i shouldn't really care what other people think. we've had some trouble with the IRS and getting our new homebuyer's tax credit back. without that $8000, we cannot send our dossier as we only have $9200 of the $15500 we need. thankfully, my parents have graciously agreed to loan us $3000 that we'll pay back to them whenever we do FINALLY get that check from the IRS. i'm crossing my fingers that we'll get the OK from our case mananger to send our dossier to raleigh and then DC for authentication by the end of this week or early next. but all of that depends on all our documents being perfectly notarized, so please pray there are no problems when our case manager reviews our dossier. i don't know how long authentication will take, but i'm praying that we might still make it on the waitlist by the end of january. if not, hello february.