this is where we are

well, as has happened a few times already in this process, jamie and i thought we had figured out a plan to pay for our adoption, and now are completely at a loss again. i'm pretty discouraged right now. we finally got access to a detailed list of fees related to our adoption, and our friend wasn't mistaken: in addition to the $7250 we send to ethiopia with our dossier, we also have to send $4250 for a second child. if we do adopt unrelated children (which has been the plan), there's an additional $2500 fee (we did know about this fee). there are also 2 other minor fees that increase with the adoption of 2 children. now, what i'm NOT saying is that we are re-thinking 2 children. we believe this is our calling, and we don't believe that a person should walk away from something they feeled called to do just because the path doesn't seem clear. honestly, i think God wants to stretch our faith a little more, and that's scary. i'm looking around at our possessions and wondering what else we can sell; i'm regretting that we ever decided to get cable TV because now we have a one year contract even though we'd like to reclaim that $50 a month; and i'm scared to death to keep asking people for help.

a few weeks ago, i emailed CWA and asked them the time frame for referrals if we decided to adopt siblings. since we are wanting an infant and a toddler, the wait time could be 9-12 months if not longer. that's just to get a referral. our total wait would probably be more like 12-15 months...or longer if we didn't pass court the first time. apparently, it might be less of a wait for twins. 9-12 months is a long time. it's a really long time if you consider that we have already been waiting 6 months. the time frame for 2 unrelated children is 4-6 months. but at this point, we are looking at so many fees (particularly the $4250) that we literally might not be able to afford the additional fees for unrelated children. in other words, we might have to wait.

honestly, maybe God is asking us to re-consider our age range. maybe God wants us to be open to a 4-year-old. maybe God wants us to give up the desire to have an infant. i don't know. what i do know is that we have no clue where the money for this is coming from. we have $8000 (from our homebuyer's tax credit) to put towards the rest of our fees, but after that, we're relying on fundraising and the generosity of others. we have a little bit of extra money leftover every month that we'll also put towards adoption costs, but it isn't enough to cover what costs are left. and there are certainly non-profits that provide grants and interest-free loans, but we can't apply for those until our homestudy is complete, and even after that, it can take a couple months for money to become available through those organizations.

so this is where we are. our need is about $8000. we're having a fundraiser at chick-fil-a on oct. 22. we'll get 10% of the profits that night, and i'm hoping lots of people will come. then we're having a yard sale on oct. 24. we've had several people tell us that they have stuff to donate, so we're just hoping things will sell. i'm pretty sure neither of these events will bring in the $8000 we need, so we are asking for your prayers, asking if you would consider supporting us financially, and asking that you'd tell people about us through your blogs, facebook, twitter, etc. i don't think it's beyond God's ability to stir a stranger's heart to help us.

lastly, i've made this kind of statement on here before, but i want to say it again. jamie and i would NEVER ask for financial support if (1) we didn't believe these 2 precious children were worth the sacrifice and (2) we weren't being responsible with the money we do have. it is difficult and embarrassing to ask for financial support because you feel guilty everytime you have to spend money even if it's for something like food. when jamie started work and we re-did our budget, we asked ourselves what we NEEDED to spend money on every month. we don't need new clothes, we don't need new gadgets for our house, we don't need fancy dinners out...and right now, we don't need furniture in our house. what we need is to pay our bills and give to our church. and i'm not saying that to sound righteous, i'm saying it so that everybody knows that we aren't asking for support even as we go out and buy a bunch of stuff for ourselves. we are doing everything we can to bring our children home. i don't really feel like that many people read this blog, but if you're reading this right now, we can't do this on our own. we need you...your prayers, words of encouragement, anything you can offer us. we need you.