only hope

today is one of those days where i'm just mad at the world. i should say this all really started last night when i stumbled upon a blog post entitled "should single women adopt?" the blogger stated her own mixed feelings on the subject, acknowledging that while there is certainly an orphan crisis in our world today, the church hasn't done enough to assuage the crisis. her point was that if the church was doing enough, single women wouldn't be in the position to adopt in the first place because there would be no need. she got a little wrapped up in the whole debate about God ordaining the family and the church and which one is more important and blah, blah, blah. oh yeah, and then she started talking about what is and isn't biblical. i'm going to risk my own behind for a moment and say that this is precisely why non-christians chuckle at christians when it comes to the bible. people spend so much time arguing about what is "biblical" that they miss what's right in front of them. somehow the clear mandate to care for widows and orphans (james 1:27) gets lost in the debate about the church vs. the family and which one is "more biblical." perhaps i'm going out on a limb here, but i'm pretty sure God doesn't really care who is caring for widows and orphans as long as they're being cared for. and i'm also pretty sure that God doesn't appreciate when people spend so much time debating about the "most biblical" course of action that they forget to actually act. suffice it to say, i'm in full support of single women who adopt...

our social worker came today. we talked a lot about the demands of 2 children. i appreciated that our social worker was honest about the fact that she is an advocate for the children, seeking to make sure that families are prepared to handle the difficult issues that can arise in parenting a child that has likely experienced trauma early in life. some children come home well-adjusted without any major issues related to PTSD; others do not. for example, in our comfortable lives here in america, we forget that children in other countries suffer everyday from malnutrition. it is extremely difficult for some of these children, once adopted, not to hoard food or become crippled by fear if their mother denies them a cup of milk. their life narrative up until the point they were adopted was one of distrust, uncertainty, and unmet needs. on top of food, sleep, and behaviorial issues, some children could have been physically or sexually abused by a family member or even an orphanage caretaker. so when you prepare yourself for the worst-case scenario, it's a lot of work, especially if you adopt 2 kids and both kids are worst case scenarios.

BUT, to me, that's one of the reasons why we adopt. our social worker put it so well: we don't just adopt to parent these children, we adopt to be a part of healing them. i don't understand why there are so many people in our world who think so little of adoption when there are so many children who have suffered such tremendous loss and unthinkable pain. people don't like hearing about babies who have been abused or children who have literally watched their parents die of AIDS. it makes us uncomfortable and perhaps a little guilty. but we have to confront the evil in this world. we have to look it straight in the face and be willing to do something about it. we have to quit thinking of orphans as "less than" or "damaged" or "somebody else's kid." they are precious in God's sight. they should be precious in ours. sometimes, i wish we could take 10 children. but we agreed that we would put some more thought and prayer into just requesting 2 children before all the paperwork goes through. i have to say, my pride was a little annoyed with having to "reconsider." my pride really doesn't want people who think we're crazy for wanting 2 to feel satisfied with themselves. but i'm willing to reconsider if only to make sure our motives are right. honestly, there's a part of me that wonders "can i really handle 2 traumatized children?" and then there's this other part of me that says "you have to do everything you can because you are their only hope."